Fraudulent NRI marriages September 29, 2006

The NRI grooms who come down to India to marry with selfish intentions show big dreams to the young girls only to break them. They come , select a girl, portray a false picture and expect a wedding to be arranged in those famous 14 days.

It is only a beginning., the girl leaves her parents , relatives and entire support system and embarks on a journey to an unknown land without realizing that very soon the big picture will unfold and all hell is going to break loose on her. The rise in the NRI fraudulent marriages is alarming . The problems of women married to and deserted by overseas Indian husbands reveal many causes like dowry and lack of modernization amongst rural brides to respond to the Western way of life. Most NRI men for the greed of dowry call up the girl’s parents and emotionally blackmail them to transfer money to his accounts. The helpless parents have not many options. They do realize that if they fail to meet the demands, the SIL may just file for a divorce in foreign land thus abandon the wife in the middles of no where or worst they may never see their daughter alive again !!!!

For more information and to see the actual picture of NRI marriages read here &; here

But lately there has been some respite to this misfortune, and several resolution offered by MOIA and NCW combined . One of the ways is bring about awareness, so that vulnerable brides to be do not fall prey to such conceiting NRI grooms.

Ministry of Overseas Indian Affairs (MOIA) organized one day National Consultation on problems concerning marriages to overseas Indians. The purpose of the National Consultation was to take into account the perspectives of various stake holders and make use of their practical experience in finalizing a booklet for the guidance of women planning to get married to overseas Indians. The consultation was organized in five different sessions including inaugural session.Inaugural Session (10.00-10.45)The chants of Saraswati Vandana initiated the proceedings of the inaugural session. Chairperson of National Commission for Women (NCW) Dr. Girija Vyas along with Honourable Minister of MOIA Vayalar Ravi and Secretary MOIA S. Krishna Kumar formally inaugurated the Consultation by lighting the auspicious lamp.In his welcome address, Secretary, MOIA S. Krishna Kumar said that the ministry is only two years old and in its short span of functioning, it has taken note of the concern relating to marriages to overseas Indians. He talked about the progress made in this area and discussed about a booklet which is compiled by the ministry to raise awareness among the women and their families. He also highlighted the purpose of this meeting and said that this problem is multicausal and creating awareness about rights, responsibilities and obligations through education, publicity and sensitization is the main emphasis given by the ministry. Sri Kumar introduced about the contents and sessions of the consultation. Sri Kumar welcomed Chairperson, NCW Dr. Girija Vyas and Honourable Minister, MOIA, Sri Vayalar Ravi and all the delegates and media persons who were present in the consultation.

In her inaugural address Chairperson, NCW, Dr Girija Vyas congratulated the ministry for taking this important initiative. She said that the Indian Diaspora is very strong and they have links with India for many reasons, important one of which is marriage. She emphasized that women should not be treated as an object or a thing but as a human being. She said that for creating awareness among the people we should move towards the villages and gave the slogan ‘chalo gaon ki ore’. She congratulated the honourable Supreme Court for the judgment on the ‘compulsory registration of marriages’ and said that this will help in tackling the cases of the fraudulent marriage. She mentioned few of the issues related to marriages to Overseas Indians which are:

1. Cultural shock
2. Generation gap
3. Dowry
4. Harassment after marriage
5. Concealment of earlier marriage(s)
6. Lack of social security on foreign soil etc.

She suggested an extensive awareness programme to counter all these problems. While talking about the booklet published by the ministry, she suggested that some important judgments by various courts relating to the marriages should be included in this booklet which will help in the awareness generation. She also advised the ministry for keeping a database on such marriages and verifying it with different agencies with the help of Ministry of External Affairs. Our missions abroad should also help in these issues. Besides, foreign embassies and consulates in India can also be involved in this process. She emphasized the need of counseling in such cases and said that MOIA should create a counseling center where all the relevant information can be accessed.

To continue…read

Reflections…. September 29, 2006

As I walk down memory lane the tears spring unannounced to my eyes.. my throat feels choked and I gasp with surprise.. Surely I should be feeling happy on this bright sunny day with the gentle wind playing with my tresses and the cool watery sunshine caressing my face.. But its not been an easy 8 months since the divorce. Seems like an ugly word. Sometimes I cannot believe this happened to me.. Snap out I say to myself..

Recently I met a very interesting person and he told me.. stop crying and write down 5 reasons why you think you are a very lucky person.. You must be joking I said. I am not at all lucky….quite the contrary, in fact… I thought the man must be crazy, here I was alone with two small children in an alien country, struggling with a job, difficult finances and with no help at all.. !!!!

But later that evening I actually took up pen and paper.. and low and behold I had really filled up pages with ‘why i think i am lucky’..

1. I am grateful to be where I am (which is 100 times better than where I was a few years back). I have a good well paying job, a nice understanding boss, nice colleagues and most of all a job that I like and enjoy (most of the time)..

2. I have two great kids who have stood by me with their little hand trustingly in mine and their silent eyes full of love, sympathy and understanding….with silent promises to make all the hurt and sorrow go away. They have been through everything with me and if they can come out of it so can I !!!!

3. I have a very nice family and friends and am grateful for the lives of such amazing people that has touched mine at some point and is still entwined with mine in so many ways.. I cant count people I love.. friends, family, and even acquaintances who have reached out to offer encouragement and sympathy!!

4. Money is not all but its something and I came from the depths of loans into a situation where I can even lend a helping had at times.. feels good!!

5. Good health .. never underestimate and never forget to appreciate good health. We don’t realise its worth until it goes away..

6. travel and memories.. I think of the time that we spend traveling and holidaying as deposits I make into my memory bank and I know that when the kids have grown up and flown out of the nest that I will still be warmed by little instances of shared laughter and warmth we shard. Never let good memories go away.. keep them close to you.

7. A home to call my own.. finally we own a house… can’t say how much comfort that brings.. even though its a small apartment.. its a feeling that somewhere in the world we have a roof to call our own and where we can stretch our tired limbs and close our weary eyes and seek comfort..

8. Education and professionalism.. never compromise on what you have.This is your selling point in the marketplace and constant honing of skills and uncompromising professionalism is the key to success at the work place..

Well as you can see I could go on like this.. but I think you do get the message. Count your blessings once in a while and send up there a silent prayer of thanks… God be with you all and give you strength.

Take care….

By Prakruti

Declaration of my Freedom September 23, 2006

I spread my wings
And fly into the vastness above
Like a pigeon that learnt to fly
At the very moment it was born,
Devouring the beauty of the sky
As it is first seen and felt.

Not having the slightest idea
Where I am headed,
Whether the world around
Will invite me to its granduer
To be part of it,
Like a flower
That is sending its fragrance
In every direction
Even before it fully blossomed,
Or be hostile to me
Not letting me have a place
In this great creation
Denying the very fact
That I am part of it.

There I go,
Flying in joy and knowing that
That itself will take care of my life’s purpose.

As I fly Higher and higher,
Each moment becoming more and more joyous.
Here I see a wonder of colors
Filling my heart with a million dreams.
They are calling it a rainbow…
On seeing it,
I thank God for my existence
Take my joy-filled heart into my hands
And offer it at His feet.

By Vishalakshi