The decision to break a marriage is a serious one. There are many important considerations-love, family, kids, finances, living, life itself!!! Post divorce solitude is something that most women dread. Is it better to have a wife battering, disrespectful, mama’s boy, kind of guy in your life or not to have anyone at all…. is sometimes the question. To all those women out there struggling to find an answer here are a few tips…
Well lesson number one……
Like yourself and your own company, irrespective of whether you have a nice hubby or not. This is the best gift you can give yourself and the results are great. I can promise you there will be a time when all you want is a couple of hours with yourself.
How can you do that?? Well, a friend told me once, if you break it down, every individual is made up of MIND, BODY, HEART and SOUL. Each one of these has its own needs. The mind needs peace and calm, stimulation of intellect, seeks knowledge and wisdom. The heart seeks gratification of emotions; love, sympathy, understanding, compassion, and needs to both give and take. As long as your feelings are genuine, don’t shy away from them. Don’t worry about the future, sometimes we all do, will this last, will I always feel like this etc. Take the moments of happiness that come your way, as long they don’t hurt some others. Don’t neglect your body it has needs too. Take care of it, you have only one life, feel beautiful and you will be beautiful. Luxuriate in your bath and paint your toenails and don’t forget to exercise and eat healthy!!! The soul has its needs and we tend to recognise its mystic musings late in life. At least I didn’t feel it even existed before. Meditation helps you connect with life itself. True bliss I am told comes from the soul and not the body, mind or the heart!!! Yet to see it happen though!!
There is no doubt that a beautiful relationship can completely transform your life. The writer and Poet Khalil Gibran said about love…
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
So if you find love take it and then be open to its highs and lows…the laughter and the tears!!!
Sometimes we neglect the value of having a driving interest in our life- a hobby if you like….music, song and dance, cooking, gardening, stitching, a sport, anything that truly refreshes you and makes you want to do more, better and new things in your area of interest!! I was so terrified of water and finally learnt to swim only a few years back. But I took an advanced course after the beginners and find that I completely enjoy it. A trip to Goa is so much more different now after I learnt to swim!! So there goes, if there is something you would like to try, do it now and do it for yourself!!
I have been divorced for over a year now and the first few months were devastating. But with time and help from friends and family and my kids, I am truly enjoying the freedom and the independence and peace!!
Life is lovely, if you know how to live it!!! 🙂