Together We Bond

You are not alone We are there and therefore Together we Bond

Way to go fine ladies…….. May 13, 2007

Filed under: Parenthood,Reflections — togetherwebond @ 6:22 am

Here’s wishing all single moms a very Happy Mothers Day. Being a single mom and raising children is not an easy task but it is also the one that entails a lot of joys, compassions, pleasures and many many many cheerful moments together in ups and downs.

When I decided to file for the full custody of my children I sometimes wondered if I could pull through it. However, when I was granted the full custody of my children there was no limit to my happiness. It meant freedom, freedom for me, freedom for my children, and freedom for my children’s upbringing.

Today we are a threesome blissful family. I am their mother and their only parent. We take vacations together to create more happy moments for a lifetime, do our own thing and most important stay in peace. I couldn’t have asked for a better situation and so also my children.

I would like to use this platform to wish all single mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day.

Way to go fine ladies, you’ve got it in you 🙂 –the spark !

By Neha


Death Trap November 4, 2006

Filed under: Matrimonial Conflicts,Parenthood — togetherwebond @ 7:26 am

I had met Sripriya online three years ago while looking for a roommate. She was a victim of a physically abusive marriage and had recently undergone surgery for a leg that her husband had broken in a fit of rage. She was legally separated at the time and was looking for a roommate to help pay the bills as she recuperated. We never ended up meeting in person as I did not need to move to her town in the end. We stayed in touch by e-mail and phone.

Talking to Sripriya always leaves me emotionally drained. Knowing her condition, I feel guilty when I don’t respond to her e-mails or try to call her at a time when I can get by with leaving a voicemail message. I realize how she feels desperately lonely in a situation that seems like a death trap – that she just needs to talk to save her sanity. Talk to someone she thinks would have empathy for her – it is just too overwhelming to be that person.

She has a twelve year old daughter who lives in India with her family – a helpless pawn in a game involving a two adults – one dangerously violent and the other precariously helpless battling through a complex legal maze. For the longest time I though Sripriya was divorced or was at least on trying to get out of a marriage that was making a physical and psychological wreck of her. I would have sworn she had told me the very first time we spoke that the papers had been filed. She pines for her child who is growing up alone in a hostel in another continent, feels like a failure for not being a mother to her, compensates by mailing gifts and spending any time she can in India.

Sripriya used to be a practicing physician when she was in India. Today she can hardly speak in coherent sentences. Thoughts collide with each other randomly as she moves aimlessly in space and time – you hear one thing now in fifteen minutes she has contradicted herself ten times. The same events are recounted endlessly in several different ways and it is up to the listener to arrive at the truth. She has been through so much that she probably cannot distinguish between truth, lie, fiction, fear, hope, dream and despair. There is a breathless, anxiety about her high-pitched speech that makes it impossible to interject with any dispassionate thought that may help her step outside her situation for a little bit and see issues for what they are.

Yet this cannon ball of confusion, contradiction, self-pity, hopelessness verging on borderline insanity is one of the most loving and generous people I have come across. I remember telling her that I was in the US trying to get a steady job so I could afford to bring J to live with me and she said “I would not dream of asking you to pay me rent. I will find another roommate and you can live for free like my sister”. This from a woman who had her utilities disconnected for not being able to pay for them. I was moved to tears at the gesture.

I talked to Sripriya after a long time last evening. I was glad to see her pause between her sentences, to have her explain her legal situation in terms that finally made sense. Some things have improved but a lot remains the same. The divorce is yet to come, her child still lives in India, the husband has put out a paid online matrimonial ad and says that he still wants to stay married with her.
I would love for time to heal her completely turn her back into the person she must have been over fifteen years ago. I pray Sripriya, that you get back the life you have lost and much more.

By Heartcrossings


Travel and Leisure October 11, 2006

Filed under: Entertainment,Management,Parenthood — togetherwebond @ 8:25 am

Gear up for some fun times….. 🙂

I have been reading all the articles on the site with interest and also the equally interesting feedback and comments for the authors and others. So now comes something quite different…

Planning and ENJOYING vacations being single and with kids can be a daunting thought. Planning a vacation by myself with the kids seemed so scary to me at first. But I was determined to test it out. Since our first holiday by ourselves to Paris we have also been to Kenya, Amsterdam, Venice and numerous locations in Switzerland. Since we also travel to India atleast once a year we have also been to many places there like Coorg, Vythri, Mysore, Trivandrum… Here are some tips for the single parent or even if you are travelling alone:

1. Plan ahead for the best prices and the most convenient timings. If you are travelling by road print maps etc in advance and speak to people who have been that route before. They can have some amazing tips. If you are travelling in India by road, choose the car and driver carefully!!
2. Book a hotel in advance. A decent one located close to the places you would like to visit is best. It need not be fancy but it should be clean and safe. Don’t take any chances with the hotel, a good reference from friends who have travelled or a good guidebook like lonely planet is a must.
3. Travel light!!
4. Plan for the evenings. After a nice full and tiring day, kids like to relax in the hotel, may be watch a movie or play games like cards or other board games, read, draw, etc. Be prepared and carry what you need to keep them entertained.
5. Plan what you will be doing in advance in a way that there is variety for them and for you. Museums are not normally the most exciting places for the kids so club it with something more fun for them. Don’t plan to see too many places in a day. Its better to spend time sitting around in roadside cafes and by the riverside etc than rushing from one ‘spot’ to another.
6. Carry some snacks and water in your backpack and get the kids to carry some too. You never know how far food can be sometimes and how inedible too!!!
7. Invest in a good guidebook. Personally I love the Lonely Planet guidebooks. Maps and telephone numbers etc
8. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. First aid-to be carried, credit cards and travel documents-to be kept very safely, carry as little money as needed, keep the kids close and tell them what to do if they are separated from you, give them mobile phones if possible, dress appropriately and prepare for the local weather
9. Making friends. Sometimes it is comforting to make friends and tag along but be careful and do that only if the other group also really wants that. Sometimes it’s more fun to spend the time with yourself and the kids alone. Be wise in choosing.
10. Don’t be nervous, as the kids can smell your fears. Be cheerful and you will spread happiness and cheer around!!

Enjoy …. 🙂

By Prakruti